At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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