I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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