omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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