Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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