What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I understand Curling. That high.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
