i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize
