your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
