Someone shit on the floor
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
These tits shall not be calmed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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