I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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