To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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