Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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