Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
