Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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