How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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