I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There's even glitter on my cock...
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