Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
