I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I did not marry a roomba.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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