I just saw a hot homeless man
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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