Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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