so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize