Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
