How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Please don't give away my fajitas
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize