new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
