He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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