I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
