Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
