I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
