He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize