that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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