I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
