I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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