Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that

Fav 5 895 3850
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

Fav 13 5069 1301
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

Fav 11 3577 1041
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm stealing this baby.

(1-719): View more from Colorado

Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?

Fav 5 1605 811
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(513): View more from Ohio

OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD

Fav 15 1427 832
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(815): View more from Illinois

He would drink pee if it was in a beer can

Fav 16 685 1220
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover

Fav 2 508 798
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(720): View more from Colorado

You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance

Fav 3 84 13
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(585): View more from New York

Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop

(585): View more from New York

We're dating now

Fav 0 69 26
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