You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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