Whod you bang
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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