If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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