it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
