I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
