so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
