Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
