Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
