My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
