I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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