there was a trapeze. enough said
I cut my penus on the lid.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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