so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
