so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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