i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
