Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
