i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize