I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
