Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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