I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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