She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
youre lurking in front of me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i think my cat just said my name.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize