oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
