All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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