I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The power of my boobs compel you
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
