3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
