Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
