I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
