Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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