therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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