Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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