it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
