You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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