i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
