Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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