the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
